First Feather

Weeks passed after the testing, but my life didn’t settle back into its regular pattern. I had agreed to get help—and that meant everything was about to change. My mother told me two things: 1. “It’s going to be hard.” 2. “Your grandmother is going to help.” I was clueless.

My after‑school routine became strict: take vitamins, eat at 3:30, and start homework at 4. Every Monday through Thursday. No exceptions. We studied every night for three to four hours.

The shows I loved watching? Gone. And this was the mid to late 90s—if you missed it, that’s it. No DVR. No streaming. No, “I’ll catch it later.” You’re done!

There were tears at times, but also laughter. We pushed through—night after night, page after page—for three years. I never mentioned the bullying at school. Things were hard enough.

My grandmother even signed me up for a tutoring program at the University of Houston–Clear Lake. In front of me sat a graduate student with her pen and notepad. The dodo was being tested again. I read aloud and wrote sentences, but suddenly became enthusiastic when she mentioned I’d be writing a short story. It didn’t just feel good. It felt right (go figure).

I wrote a horror story about an alien invasion. It was handwritten in pen with smudges everywhere because I’m left‑handed—the real horror. My few friends were all in the book. We blasted aliens as we crept past their eggs toward safety. The tutor helped with the editing, and I finished the program by drawing a front cover: a scary woods scene.

I proudly arrived at school with my short story in hand. I quietly showed my novel to my closest friend as a secret. He passed it along without asking. I lost track of my book. This was it. My life was officially over—I knew it. Until the book returned. To my surprise, everyone loved the story. I came home uplifted, but my heart sank when I saw the results from my previous testing and tutoring had arrived. The results would be as grim as I had imagined.

“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment.'”

Matthew 22:37-38